English
Olivia Hadley
9/21/08
Intro:
Ever since I stepped my little leather boot into that shiny metal stirrup, I knew this was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Horseback Riding has been a part of my life for close to 8 years. It has watched me grow into not only a better rider, but a better person. Riding has taught me discipline, respect, confidence, and courage, but the more I ride I realize, it is not the trainer that teaches you to ride, but the horse itself.
Poem:
Take the reins
and fly.
Slowly now faster, soar across the field.
Not I, not him, but a team.
Two alike, together as one thought;
Eye on the prize.
Have you ever felt weightless?
A small creature among a higher power?
In control, but he controls me.
Is it magic?
Story:
It all started in the summer of 2001 at Winner Circle Farm. My sister and I were 7 and 4 years old. We ran up the aisle of the horse barn and studied each one carefully. Kali was tall and black. Medoc was a muscular bay. Grace was a fragile chestnut mare. We spun around to the sound of clopping hooves to see two horses: an orangey Appaloosa and a black and white pony. We soon learned that the orange spotty one was named Ricky and the small one that looked like a cow was named Zak. We followed the instructor up the aisle to the arena as 2 teenage girls trailed behind with lead lines. When we got there I looked back at my parents as I stepped up the mini staircase and on top of Ricky. One of the teenage girls led me around and around the edge of the arena as the instructor, named Barbara, told me to “pretend you are a sack of potatoes”.
So a sack of potatoes I was, as I gradually reached a point where I could become a well postured girl on top of a horse. But I eventually outgrew Ricky, and switched to a barn called Back Bay Farm. This barn was intense. Ribbons hung in every stall door and everyday it was bustling like bees in a hive as horses were pulled in and out of stalls and in and out of the arena. It was a bit overwhelming at first for my ten year old self, but I learned many things at Back Bay.
About a year after, we were still in touch with our first barn and it turned out that we could lease Zak and bring him down to Massachusetts. The only problem was that Back Bay did not have any extra stalls for the pony to live in. So again we switched barns and made our way to Buttonwood Stables. Zak lived there happily for a while but soon it was time for him to go home to New Hampshire. That is when I met Slick. Libby, the owner of Buttonwood, had a grandmother who owned a plantation in Georgia, shipped 5 Tennessee Walking Horses up for the barn’s use. The horses were:
Rebel: A large chestnut who was the oldest of them all
Bill: An easygoing, all-black horse
Monkey: A somewhat crazy horse that was black with a white
and gold mane.
Bingo: A young, chestnut and white paint with blue eyes
and Slick: A black and white paint with kind eyes and the
bounciest trot of them all.
I started riding Slick twice a week in all of my lessons. I learned to be so in tune with him, and had learned so much from him that secretly Libby and my parents were making a plan to give him to me for my birthday. So there it happened and now I could not imagine my life without him.
As time went on, my father bought a huge Clydesdale/Belgian horse named Kodiak and my sister got a Halflinger pony named Chester. We spent time at one more barn after Buttonwood, and now I live with all of our horses here in Georgia. After all, Slick was always a southern boy. J
Diary Entries:
Dear Diary,
Today was my first lesson at Back Bay Farm. I rode a big chestnut horse named Zsa Zsa. She was very lazy, and I was nervous. My trainers name is Joy and she is so nice! My sister Juliet rode a little pony named Ladybug. She is white with brown spots. The Farm is very big with lots of kids and is very different than the barn in New Hampshire.
Love, Olivia
Dear Diary,
Today Zak got to Buttonwood! He seems to really like it here. We are riding tomorrow night and I’m so excited! I hope that Cathy and Libby like him…
Love, Olivia
Dear Diary,
TODAY I GOT A HORSE!!! I am so happy! His name is Slick and he is a white and black paint Tennessee Walker. He is so pretty and amazing! It was a surprise present for my birthday. I had my first lesson with him as MY HORSE today. It’s almost Halloween too. I can’t wait!
Love, Olivia
Letter:
Dear Reader,
I hope you have enjoyed this sneak peek into my life. I hope you learned how much one aspect of a person’s life can change their life all together. I blame riding for most of my amazing accomplishments. Riding kept me exercising all the time and it gave me something productive to do on the weekends. Owning a horse forced me to keep my grades up and learn how to be responsible and take control. It also made me realize what amazing people my parents are. I owe everything to them because they made all of this possible for me. Without them, I probably would never have been able to ride and experience all that has happened throughout my life. Riding is an amazing, but finicky thing. You must be able to learn fast, but take things very slow; to know when to take control, and when to let go; to be aggressive, and to be at ease. Most everything you learn when you ride can be in use to you in real life, and that is why I want to praise riding, for all it has made me become. I hope you get the chance in your life to feel like I do one day. And to have a sense of such graciousness for something that is important to you.
With love,
Olivia Hadley
Monday, September 22, 2008
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2 comments:
The "paperrr" is really good... The topic could have been a little bit more "exciting" but sence you love it so much I understand why you would like to write about it... So, yeah... All the horse names were funny, I like how people name there horses cause there are usually not 2 with the same name... All very special for each horse... Great job...
I like your intro. You are descriptive, detailed, and you tell the reader what to look for in the paper. I am ready for the point of your essay.
In the poem, the lines “Not I, not him, but a team” and “In control, but he controls me” bring the poem full circle and recall the point you are trying to make in the whole essay. Well done.
Spell out small numbers. Instead of writing “4,” write “four.”
Watch out for awkward phrasing like: “Libby, the owner of Buttonwood, had a grandmother who owned a plantation in Georgia, shipped 5 Tennessee Walking Horses up for the barn’s use.” Read the essay outloud, and see if there are places where you could choose better words.
What you have so far is really good. I am wishing for another part, however, that puts you up on the horse, so the reader can really FEEL what that relationship is like. Remember it is so much better to show than tell. This is a great opportunity for crazy description. I’d like you to focus on that in your revision.
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